Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
