I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
she pinky promised me she was 18
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
