Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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