how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
that is very illegal...i love you.
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