You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hippo gnu deer
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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