i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
