There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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