dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
