dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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