I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
