What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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