I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
