So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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