Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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