u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
