I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
