I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
