I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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