It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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