omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
