I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
