Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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