you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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