I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
