I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
