I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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