so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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