...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
