I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
