If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
