JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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