I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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