Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
