You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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