Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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