I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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