I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
