The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
