so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
