On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It's Friday. Sex?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
