Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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