Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
