U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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