I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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