that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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