12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
