Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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