how hairy? two words: wookie tits
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
