i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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