you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
